Life Update #3

A lot has happened since my last update. I no longer work at the boutique, where I stayed for just under four months. I’m still dog sitting, though it’s been slow due to a lack of clients. On top of that, I’ve started the journey of quitting vaping, and that’s probably been the hardest part. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer, slowly but surely. I still hit one occasionally, but with the help of nicotine gum and sheer willpower, I’m getting the upper hand. I finally reached a point where I said, “Enough is enough,” and knew I had to quit. Vaping had too much power over me—it unknowingly became the center of my world.

It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I couldn’t do anything without it. I had to have it with me at all times, constantly inhaling that stuff. I don’t even know how many times a day I hit it, but it was well over 100. The fact that I let it go on for so long without trying to stop makes me sick, but I’m also giving myself grace. Life is hard, and I’ve got a very anxious mind, so vaping became my way of self-medicating. Everyone has their own method of coping, so I don’t judge myself or others for how we deal.

But deep down, I knew this habit was going to ruin me. I even reached a point where I convinced myself I had signs of oral cancer, so I made a consult with my dentist. Thankfully, he said I was fine and it was just seasonal allergies. I realize I can be paranoid, but that moment made it clear: if I didn’t stop, one day the consequences might be real. Maybe it wouldn’t be oral cancer, but some other irreversible damage. That’s when I decided to take advantage of the fact that I’m young and relatively healthy, and maintain that so I can live longer than 50 years.

Now, I’m overjoyed with my decision to quit. My mind is clearer, I have more energy, and I don’t feel that heavy cloud inside anymore. I still believe in having fun and enjoying life—this body is just a vessel that will eventually decay into nothingness. So I say, keep it healthy enough to live comfortably, but allow yourself to get a little wild and have fun every once in a while. You’ll be okay, I promise.